As we start a new week and new month, I wanted to take time in this week's blog to reflect on this past week and why it was important to me and so many women worldwide. This past week was National infertility week. If you follow my blog, part of living with the Disorder Turner Syndrome is that I have to experience the heartache of infertility. My experience is a little different from many of the millions of women worldwide who share this every day.
I was told of my infertility at the age of 10 after a letter from my doctor confirmed that I would never be able to have children of my own. I was devastated. I was still a little girl, played with dolls, and dreamt that I could be a mom someday. When The doctor told me this, I cried for hours and honestly did not understand or absorb what being infertile meant and what my future relationships would look like,
As I went into my teen years, I became aware of the reality of infertility and how it would truly impact my life. Being 16 and hearing the words egg donor and fertility treatments and high risk were overwhelming. I was a sophomore in high school, and the most significant concern I should have had was debating which Boy band, Nsync or Backstreet Boy, was better and what my weekend plans were. Suddenly, I was told of the need for specific fertility treatments in a doctor's office. I had to grasp that I would never experience pregnancy in the traditional sense.
I had to learn from that point on to accept a different version of my life. I often asked whether my life would ever be fulfilled if the one thing I wanted was no longer an option. I had to, like so many women, after being told this heartbreaking news is to lean on my faith as trust that God would have a different purpose in my life and trust he would show me when the time was right.
Accepting infertility is not easy as I am sure many who experience this feel like they failed somehow and are often angry that they have gone through this. I felt this, and to be honest, I still do. As I see my good friends and family have children and see the stages of pregnancy, I am thrilled for them, but a part of me wishes that I could experience that. I know adoption is a option and when God is ready he will open that window .
As infertility week comes to an end, it is essential to remember that we should be open and honest about our journeys. We need to know that we are not alone. I share my experience as I want you to know that you are never alone and not to shy away from your feelings as you learn to accept them. Most importantly, lean on your faith, as it has been my greatest strength besides my family and friends when I face those hard times. My challenge for you this week is to share a personal experience that has been hard to accept. Please share how you learned and grown from this. By sharing this, you will help others who may be trying to navigate the same thing. But also realize that you have a support team greater then you ever knew .